Desperate Houseboi

I wasn’t optimistic about New Year’s Eve. The plan was to go to Matty’s party until 11 pm, and then meet Carlos at Steve and Hector’s for the midnight kiss and glass of champagne. It was a perfectly good plan, which meant that it would go sideways at the drop of a hat. I got to Matty’s party at 8:30, and it was already in full swing. The Denver Fillies were all dolled up for some serious boy-chasing, and Paul, Curtis, Henry, Adam, LA Carlos, Tim, and Doug were busy putting a solid dent in the champagne. It wasn’t long and Woodsy showed up, then Mark and Todd, and finally Ben (and let me remind you, Mike Meola INSISTS he did not have sex with Ben that one time) appeared with a posse. Ben was good enough to ask beforehand if he could bring randoms. Unfortunately they were of the sort who run for the liquor and then stand in a circle and won’t speak to anyone. God knows why people do that. They were from Portland, maybe they were shy.

Meanwhile, the Fillies were getting good and liquored up. Mike actually managed to lose his balance while setting down his glass, and nearly too a header into the dogfood. Steve told us all about his 9 mm Glock, and Dan reiterated his devotion to bottoming. LA Carlos was in the living room making nice with Woodsy, and everyone else was just standing around chatting. I made a loop thru the kitchen for another beer, then joined Matty in the living room. He asked where Carlos was. And things went down hill from there.

People think that Matty and I don’t fight. For the most part they’re right; Matty and I tend to agree on things, or at least I can see his point of view. But he had begun to break away from reality on the Carlos issue, and we’d been sparring over that all week. Earlier, I had told him Carlos wasn’t coming to his party, and now I explained that I was leaving before midnight to go to Steve and Hector’s to watch the fireworks and give Carlos a big kiss at midnight. That plan didn’t go over so well. In fact, we ended up in a rather nasty snarling match in front of everyone in the living room. Oops. Well, no homos were harmed in the process (at least not physically) but I did notice a few surprised looks. We left it at a draw and I said a final round of good-byes before heading over to Steve and Hector’s.

Afterwards I wish I’d stayed. Apparently, Woodsy and LA Carlos got busy in the hot tub (Woodsy insists that they did not “have sex,” but neither did Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky) while Henry hooked up with Dan in Adam’s bed (Henry disputes that as well, but not very strongly). The Fillies also appeared at Timberline dancing on the speakers, but I’m not sure if that came before or after the romp in Adam’s room. All told, it was quite a night.

The next day everyone returned to Denver or LA or wherever they had come from. Those of us that live here spent the day drinking at CC’s and Madison Pub and wherever else they wouldn’t throw us out (LA Carlos and the Denver Fillies joined us for a couple at CC’s before their flights, but left after only a couple because they’re WEAK). And all told, after all his trouble, the only nookie Adam got was a little dry humping from LA Carlos in the back of Henry’s car. Last I heard, Adam is checking to see if Terrell Owens is free on Monday night.