The Metamorphasis

I planned a quiet, respectable, even bored Wednesday night. But before the evening was done, my evening had morphed into this horrible beast that threatened to destroy everyone and everything around it. No, I’m not being melodramatic. The night involved Mark, a baby, the full moon, and strange use of a razor. Halloween came early to my little group, and with a vengenance. Here’s the story:

Carlos had class Wednesday night, so I planned to go to Home Depot after work and then swing by Changes for a couple of beers. That would give me plenty of time to get home and make some dinner and look like a hero to the boyfriend. But around 3:00, Matty invited me to the Tower Club for drinks with Mark and his mother and step-father. Of course I couldn’t miss that, so I jettisoned the Home Depot/Changes plans. I also emailed Carlos, telling him I’d be home by 7:30. He’d be home by 9:00, and that would give me some leeway in case drinks ran late. I thought I had it all figured out, which was my first mistake.

I got to the Tower Club early, and watched the sunset while I waited for the boys. Matty and Jerome got there first, with Jerome’s boyfriend Mark (not the guest-of-honor Mark). Rick showed up with Paul and Curtis and we all settled in to wait for Mark and the ‘rents. We waited, and waited….. Paul suggested at one point that maybe the trip was a ruse; that the ‘rents had come up to do an intervention and take Mark to treatment. That would explain why they hadn’t shown up, and why Mark didn’t answer his phone. This was kindof funny, but just a little too plausible for comfort. The other amusing moment came when talk turned briefly to my blog and JPK. Someone said, “Why waste your time? He’s a 20-something twit who thinks he knows it all. He’s not going to listen, people like that never do.” Kudos, I wish I could remember who said this, because it was the best one-line description of Jason that I’ve ever heard.

Finally, at 7:00 pm Paul was able to reach Mark. Shockingly, he’d fallen asleep, leaving his parents waiting at the hotel and all of us drinking heavily for an hour and getting a bit cranky. They arrived just as we were closing the tab, so it was re-opened and we proceeded to have a few more rounds. Mark’s parents were delightful. His step-father was one of the most engaging people I’ve ever met, and his mother was beautiful, charming, and very funny. We spent an hour drinking with them, and decided the evil must have come from Mark’s biological father. Satan.

By 8:40 things were wrapping up at the Tower Club. Woodsy had invited everyone over to watch the lunar eclipse from his roof, so the group (minus Mark’s parents) decided to head over and wipe out his liquor cabinet. I was going home to my boyfriend, but Matty grabbed me and offered me a ride. And here the beast that was Wednesday evening began to reveal itself. Matty, inexplicably, bypassed my house and went straight to Woodsy’s saying, “Have one drink, look at the moon, and go home. Carlos will be fine.” Well I had more than a few under my belt, so I didn’t put up much of a fight.

Turned out we weren’t the only ones Woodsy had invited. Reasonably enough Jimmy was there, and a couple of other people who immediately fled when we all staggered in. But the one surprise was a nice woman (I didn’t catch her name) who was there with a BABY. We were concerned about Mark being in the same room as the kid, but decided since he was at least 9 months old, Mark had probably already chatted him up online. We poured some drinks and headed upstairs (without the baby, that would have been too creepy) to look at the moon.

The eclipse was disappointing, but the Space Needle was beautiful. Woodsy is about 4 blocks from it, and it’s lit from below so it glows at night. GLOWS. It's an amazing sight. But I was only outside for about 10 minutes before I started to freeze, so I went back in for another drink. By this point things were shaping up for a long night out. There was talk of R Place, and I was game since I was already late and Carlos was going to be a bit cranky. In retrospect I just wasn’t thinking clearly; I was 2 hours later that I’d said in my email, and at least 30 minutes past the time I expected he’d gotten home. I should have known it would be bad. Then he called, and I discovered that it was much worse than I could have guessed.

I had missed a call at the Tower Club, but the caller hadn’t left a message. Well I got a call from the same number again, and this time I caught it. It was Carlos. He had gone across the hall to use the neighbor’s phone. Turns out he hadn’t gone to class because he was sick, and had been sitting at home waiting for me since 7:30. And he was pissed. So, did I say a hasty goodbye and rush home to take care of my sick and angry boyfriend? Well, no. I called Adam and tried to make him order Chinese food to be delivered to Carlos so I could go to R Place with my friends. It was not one of my finer moments. Adam basically told me to pound sand and hung up, so then and only then did I down my drink and rush home, picking up dinner on the way. My reception at home was considerably worse than what a condemned soul gets upon entering Hell.

Meanwhile (this is all third-hand, but reliable) the party moved up the Hill. Matty and Woodsy pulled into the parking garage and ran into BT and Toby, who had just come from the airport. Toby was changing into civilian clothes and having a quick shave. After saying hello, Matty and Woodsy went to Manray for a drink with Jerome and Mark, and BT went with Toby to R Place.

When Matty and Woodsy made their way from Manray to R Place, the rest of the group had congregated upstairs. They stopped to say hi to BT and Toby, as well as Patrick before going over the people group from Woodsy’s. And that’s where we enter the twilight zone. Toby came over and asked Matty, “Do you have a problem with me?” Now, Curtis, Mark, Paul, and Seattle Police Department will all vouch for Matty’s willingness to raise any problems he has with anyone. Mystified they went back and forth, confused, until Toby retreated unsatisfied, and Matty was left wondering what he had done.

Turns out in the parking garage, Matty said something about Toby shaving. Woodsy was there and remembered it just as a passing comment. But apparently it was enough to get Matty voted off Toby Island, and the next day BT Island as well. I guess boyfriends have to stand together in solidarity. Meanwhile, Matty is having the locks changed.

For me, a quiet night running errands and making dinner became a big drunken fight at 11 pm. And for the rest of the group, the evening wrapped up at Matty’s, with the few left that weren’t inexplicably pissed at him, watching the moon de-eclipse from the hot tub. Fortunately no babies were invited.