Fuelin' Up on Heartache and Cheap Wine

Tuesday, we met Gary. After work, Paul and I went to Rosebud for a drink before Spanish class. Well, for a few drinks. Rosebud had new art, a series of half-naked impressionist monochrome cowboys. My favorite was called “X Marks My Broken Heart,” and it’s only $75 if anyone is thinking about Christmas presents for me. Matty joined us after a while, and then Gary came in, saw Paul, and came over to say hi.

Gary is a blast from Paul’s murky past, the first gay person Paul met after moving to Seattle. When Paul first started at Publicis, he hired Gary to do some video editing, and they ended up spending 2 days in Gary’s bedroom chopping up film. Since Gary has a boyfriend that’s probably all they did (much to Paul’s chagrin). He’s cute and interesting, so we invited him to join us. Paul and I were well into round 3 by this point, and Matty was catching up. Now when I’m around cute guys, I have a natural charm and grace that comes to the fore and never fails to impress. It worked for me again: I was explaining something to Paul, made a grand gesture to drive the point home, and knocked my beer right into Gary’s lap.

Gary took it stoically, and we had enough napkins to sop up the mess on the table and mostly dry his pants. I figured if he had to go home to the boyfriend with a wet crotch and smelling like a brewery, he’d better have another drink. In fact, we all needed another one. The waiter gave a us a dirty look, but served us one more round and closed out the tab. Gary was cute and fun, and Paul should bring him around more, although he will probably keep his distance from me if I’m holding a drink.

We were all a bit tipsy for class, and apparently my red beard and pink cheeks made me look like the young Chris Kringle from that claymation Santa movie. At least that's what Matty and Paul told me. We giggled and squirmed all through Spanish, and earned more than one disapproving look from la Professoria. Afterwards, the three of us popped into Hot Mama’s for a slice, and then over to R Place, where we settled into the couches on the second floor and waited for the rest of the gang to arrive.

Joey and I both had “Get Out of Jail Free” cards from our respective boyfriends, so we had lobbied everyone hard to come out and make it a night to remember. Joey got there first, and in short order we were joined by Curtis, Evil Mark, Ben, Aldritch, Woodsy, and (shockingly) Adam. I had jokingly texted Adam a few time during class and after we got to the bar, and then he called and asked if he could hang out with us. Of course I said yes; Adam’s cute and fun and just the right height if you need a place to set your drink. After a few rounds and a good deal of gossiping, someone asked if anyone sings. And Matty and I got outed.

Matthew and I have, on occasion, sang a karaoke version of the Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow duet “Picture.” Usually when we and all of our friends are so blind drunk that none of us can tell what’s going on. Well we got talked into doing it with minimal (we were at approximately 7 rounds for the evening at this point) effort. I ran upstairs to sign us up, and the crew gathered itself up and transferred to an upstairs table.

At this point no one was feeling any pain. John Ferris had shown up, and by the time we moved upstairs, him and Curtis were all but mating on a windowsill. And speaking of skinny guys in tight t-shirts dry humping, who did we run into upstairs but Madge and the WAH! It was a surprise to see them: the WAH has been scarce since her failure on the Magnolia edition of Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?, and Madge won’t leave the house except for work or a Timberline DJ from New York. It was good to see them, and we chatted about this and that until the karaoke lady (finally!) called Matty and I to sing. After a blockbuster performance, we retired to the bar for a much-needed drink. The boys were beginning to drift away (I think John, Curtis, and Paul went to have sex in the car or at Curtis's crack house, but they won't admit it), so I gave Adam a final “You’re cute, go hit on someone!” pep-talk, and headed home.